Archive for June, 2011

Oh, duh

I note my lack of activity on here, as well as my flagging in travelling down this path, and I give myself the mental finger-wag.  After all, this is what I want to do.  Why so much faltering? Why so little application, and therefore progress? 

Well, I finally made the connection.  I had my “oh DUH” moment.  I started down this path true, but did I once give thought to announce my intentions and seek guidance? Nope. (Communication, Leathra.  It’s important.)  So, it’s time to clue in the powers that be. (Even if they were just waiting for some acknowledgement.) The new moon is July 1st.  Guess what I’ll be doing?


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Slowly, slowly but surely, I am starting to remember dreams as I wake.  It is still a bit of a struggle, and by no means do I remember dreams every night, but it’s been a vast improvement from nothing.

My dreams are largely like I remember them being.  My subconcious is largely concerned with making a fun story.  Sometimes if I enjoyed a particular arch I’ll skip back and replay it, make different choices.  My dreams are like choose-your-own-adventure stories, and full of characters from tv shows, books, movies, as well as my own made up characters.

Most of the time I could take one of my dreams and turn it into a novel (removing or tweaking copywrited characters of course).

As far as meditating goes…well, it hasn’t been.  I have a great imagination, but that’s the way most of my ‘meditation’ goes–daydreaming.  Having no self-discipline can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. 

Kestal claims he’s willing to help me, but thus far its just talk–he hasn’t made a move to actually help yet, and its been a few weeks.  Nor has he been good at reminding me to meditate…mayhaps I should just set an alarm, at least that will remind me regularly.

*sigh* I’m not trying to make excuses, I’m just venting and documenting my struggles.  Going to set an alarm now…

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